It was a chilly Saturday, the curtains were pulled, letting what little light could escape enter and bring the memory that a weekend was being wasted by not going outside and take in the winter feel. Yet Conner did none of the sort, instead laid in bed with navy sweatpants on, the string that usually kept them in order got lost in the wash, leaving him with them being awkwardly fitting. But it didn't matter since he was in the privacy of his own room. His chest was bare, taking advantage of the heating charm that was use to keep his dragon egg alive. He had a list of things that he was supposed to do too, and despite his shabby appearance he'd made for himself.

Yet, Conner lay in bed, staring straight up at the ceiling wondering what was going on with him. He wasn't usually known to be one to lay in bed and think, instead he thrived on keeping busy, in any way possible. If not doing homework, he was busy cooking, or working at his new place. But at the moment none of that seemed to work. At at the moment he was trying to diagnose what was different.

School had started, he was doing better than he did last year, and yet his thoughts would wander back to a meeting during summer break. He couldn't help but smile remembering how great being kicked out of his flat was.


Conner considered himself be a bit of a dreamer. He wasn't stupid, he knew that he wasn't the most realistic person when it came to certain things. When it came to school and work, he always tried to improve himself, not deluding himself into thinking that he was a big shot. He wasn't. He wasn't gifted in scholarly pursuits like Benjamin was. Sometimes he felt that he was subpar near him and he wasn't even trying compared to what grades Ben got. But the bitterness subsided because Conner knew he had qualities that he didn't.

He was an idiot for love. Conner Bailey was always a romantic, and he would admit it to anyone that got close to him. He couldn't help it, the idea of love seemed like such a good thing he wanted it. His mother, had raised him all on his own, telling him things about how life was hard and he shouldn't fall for a pretty face, especially not someone beneath him, whatever that meant. Yet no matter what his mother said, he was screwed already.

Rhian.

Merlin, he remembered the first time she walked towards his table, he'd been gobsmacked. She was just too beautiful to be surrounded by such an area. And in the most pathetic way, in the meal that they had he found her enchanting. The first smile she gave him was enough for him to know that he had it bad. He hadn't had a crush that bad since second-year and that was Cadey and she was now long forgotten.

But Merlin, maybe it was the fact that she was so pretty. And it was a shallow thing, he knew. But the way she carried herself made him think....Did she know how beautiful she was? If she didn't people were stupid. But the moment he saw her, he knew that she was gorgeous, smart and a good cook. She went out of her way to make him food when the kitchen was clearly closed.



He knew it was silly, but just sitting with her, having her across from him, just talking about nonsense made him want to know more. He wanted to know more about her, even if it meant nothing to her, he knew he would soak it like a sponge. He sighed. He wondered if she liked to swim, or play Quidditch. He wondered if she had any hobbies.

He didn't remember her from Hogwarts, but then again he didn't remember a lot of people from other houses. He was more of a hufflepuff kind of guy, his team mates were his friends for the most part. Then there was Benjamin. He was his brother, the annoying more successful one. And he wasn't offended with it in any way. He brought reality to Conner's dreamer attitude and the older he got, the better he got at accepting it. He wondered briefly if Rhian had even walked those halls with him around. He swore that had he seen he he would have fallen just the same.  



Who would have thought that she would have been in his classes, his major too. A year below him, clearly from the fact they all had classes together. And he wasn't having it any other way. She was smart, quiet but smart and in his hiccups in class, she never seemed to pay attention to him. It frustrated him, and for a moment he wondered if it was a waste to think so much about her, to want to know her. Maybe she forgot about them, the small meal they had together. Maybe he was that forgetful.

He frowned at the thought and stretched against his bed. He knew he wasn't special, but he wasn't a troll either. He wanted to be special to her, for just a moment. He wanted to get that smile be directed to him again. To make her laugh, he wondered how she laughed. If she tinkled like wind chimes, or vibrated like bells. He wanted to replay her noises in his head. He wanted to know what romance meant to her. If she would want him to cook for her in return. One date.

He just wanted one date, and take in every smile and replay in his head. He wanted to know why she worked so hard, what her family thought of her? Did she like dogs? She probably did. He smiled at the thought. Maybe she loved dragons like he did and they could study. They could study together, and that would be his way of getting to know her. Even just to hear her chat, hear her opinions on dragons it would be good enough.


He remembered once asking his mother what it was to feel like you were in love. And she had only chuckled at him, and ran her fingers through his blond hair, fondly. He knew his mother was not one to fall in love so quickly. It had only been ten years since his mother had remarried. But she knew what love was in her own way. She constantly would tell him he was silly for having his heart exposed for the world to see, that people had to earn it. But that's who he was, a person that had his heart on his sleeve.

He remembered she looked right at him and told him it was a song. "When all the songs make sense in your head, well my darling, that can be love" And ever since then he knew that he would wait till all the songs made sense. For a moment, earlier in his life he had fallen for a girl, and the songs tended to whisper in the beginning. Lisa was a beautiful girl and he knew that he had promised to make a life with her, it had taken a year or two for the songs to fit. And then even before they had broken up, the songs slowly died out.

This was different. The bells rang, all the love songs of his childhood, hearing his mother sing in the kitchen, the elves, the muggle music that came his way. All of the made sense in his head seeing her. It was frightening and exhilarating all at once.

He closed his eyes and sighed. He wonders if she'd be shy about him asking her out. He wonders if she'd be insulted if he kissed her softly. If she'd be offended if he asked her for one dance. If he could take him singing off-key to just make her laugh and earn a kiss from her.


Crushes weren't something he should even be having at twenty. But the moment she walked into his space, he had already lost. He'd fucked up by making up some number that didn't even exist in the menu. And she didn't really make fun of him, or call him stupid. Instead she was so sweet and helped him out. Went out of her way, to help out a total stranger.

Even in class, when she entered in their classes, his hands started sweating, and he was horrified thinking that finishing puberty meant nothing if he couldn't control his hands shaking seeing her. This was a sign. She wasn't the first girl that made him look stupid, but she was the first he was really willing to work on that and win her over.

"Fuck" he whispered, it was bad.


Conner wondered if he even had a chance. Maybe she had a boyfriend, who was gallant and strong, and smooth. He covered his face with his pillow and groaned. Even if she was single she wasn't going to look his way. And if she did, if only for a moment, he would probably muck it up in some way or another. But he wanted to try. She was too beautiful not too, not just outside, but he wanted to know what were behind her cerulean eyes. Did the always shine that way? Did her hair always fall so flawlessly down her shoulders? He wanted to know what her skin felt like, that her lips whispered after a kiss. What her dreams were, what she wanted. Did she like muggle stuff? What about music? Did she play it. Did she expect him to learn? What were her expectations. He wanted to just know her inside and out.

It was frightening, exciting, and horrifying. He wanted to do everything no one else had the courage to do with her. He had to take baby steps, one at a time. And the first thing he wanted to do is ask her on a date. And he would...eventually. Probably...he was a mess. Groaning he rolled over and figured he could waste the day sleeping. Maybe his imagination could have better ideas that his conscious did. And maybe one, he could stop dreaming and be a man about it. Maybe tomorrow.