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     First Meeting, Second Guessing (Lilliana)

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    Tess Holmes
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    PostSubject: First Meeting, Second Guessing (Lilliana)    Fri Jan 02, 2015 12:35 am

    Tess was many things, intelligent, ambitious, and bookish, but it seemed that in this field there were a few things that she needed to work on: patience, tact, and heart. She knew those were her downfall, they were no secret. The fact that the closest people around her were wondering why she chose was field was enough for her to think that perhaps this wasn't the best choice of work. But she had to try, it had been something about the field that seemed so out of character that she went for it.

    And here she was, in her volunteer uniform wondering if this was the right thing to do again. Perhaps dragon training was better and she should quit before getting deeper in the major? Closing her eyes she took a deep breath and remembered her afternoon. She had no problem diagnosing the problems, before the clipboard had been given to her, that was no problem, but the whole approach was where she lacked success. Her first patient had accidentally caused himself to turn his bones to jelly. In in an unkind way she accidentally called him an idiot, in a not so accidental way. She couldn't help it, her mouth got the best of her and she asked him if he had fallen on his head at birth. The Healer, bless, had pulled her aside and tried to tell her why it was wrong. The spoonful of skele-grow and a kind smile were what she was forced to give. But it was no use, the boy wanted nothing to do with her.

    She didn't have the gift to connect the heart into it and she figured perhaps this was a sign. She loved medicine though, but people were hard for her. Either they were stupid, or too forceful, and those middle people that were kind and soothing made her immediately become suspicious of. She was issues, at least that's what the Mediwitch hinted at when she sent her to the break room after helping with stitches. At least she knew the stitches were perfect, she'd practiced multiple times before, but it was no use. No one wanted to work with someone who didn't have that nice aura about them.

    Sitting on the couch, she covered her face and groaned aloud. She didn't know whether to cry or just leave before she faced even more mistakes. Maybe potions was her calling, who was she kidding she was just a female version of her brothers and call it quits to being her own person.

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    Lilliana Noel


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    PostSubject: Re: First Meeting, Second Guessing (Lilliana)    Fri Jan 02, 2015 1:26 am

    A few days had gone by after her first shift and Lilliana had decided to sign up again. The last one had been quite an interesting experience. This time, there were a few other volunteers with her, and she did her best to stay out of their way, dealing with patients and hiding behind her notebook in between.

    It was just after a particularly difficult patient, who was apparently drunk on something, because he kept trying to kiss Lilliana, that she declared to the head nurse on duty she needed a break and moved towards the break room. Bella followed obediently behind her, not saying anything much. She had just opened the door and entered when she caught sight of one of the other students and volunteers. Tess, I think he- Lily began to think, but was interrupted when the room began to spun. "Crap," she muttered as her house elf immediately grabbed her hand.

    Darkness; nothing but black around her, but then things slowly began to come into focus. A bed. A voice, barely audible, saying a name, then, "I'm tired."

    A pause. A gasp. An apology.


    The scene blurred again; only a second had passed in the break room.

    The witch - Tess - looking down at a piece of paper. A moment passes, and then the witch begins to tear it. Pieces flutter to the ground, the words too broken up to read as she lays on the bed.

    Another blur; Bella looks around, making sure nobody has noticed Lily's odd behaviour.

    "I want it all off."

    The words had come while the scene was making itself known, as though a voiceover in the opening screen of a video.

    A mirror. Sniffing. A face looking back at itself, tears streaming down in silent sobs. Slowly, it stops. The reflection smiles.

    Once again, the scene blurred. Lily remained still, eyes unfocused, unmoving.

    An egg, plain and simple. Tess looking down at it with a smile, almost cradling it against herself. Peace and joy written on her face. Her hair is slightly longer, but still short. She stands up, moving towards the window.

    That seemed to be the last of it and Lily found herself back in the break room, looking at the witch still on the couch, just in time to hear her groan. Nodding to Bella, she let out a shaky breath, hating what she had just done, and moved to sit down, opposite Tess. The witch had covered her face with her hands, and Lilliana was at once concerned. "A-are you okay?" she asked.
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    PostSubject: Re: First Meeting, Second Guessing (Lilliana)    Fri Jan 02, 2015 1:57 am

    Tess hated self-wallowing, but it seemed that this was one of those instances. If this was the day that signified if this was the right choice...well then it failed miserably. She wanted the earth to swallow her up immediately. She realized that her parents where absolutely right, she wasn't cut out for a world like this. She was better behind a book, not out there in the real world. People like her weren't even meant to work. They were meant to be a nice wife, who waited her day to start once her husband came. She figured she could do that, be one of those people, if only she shut her gob and just pushed through.

    Her inner turmoil was interrupted as she felt the couch shift in weight and someone talking to her. She jumped and immediately glared, she couldn't help it. This was definitely not a good day, especially when she realized it was another volunteer. She'd notice her, she was good at it, she was meant for this stuff. Sighing she muttered an apology.

    "I'm always fine" she replied, "On break too I see" she said trying to be casual as possible.

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    Lilliana Noel


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    PostSubject: Re: First Meeting, Second Guessing (Lilliana)    Fri Jan 02, 2015 2:05 am

    "I'm always fine"

    Lily had never been good at leaving things, even when directly hinted or asked. It came with the knowledge that sometimes, all someone needed was a friend, someone to confide in. She had seen to many horrible instances to drop subjects, especially when she knew a person could be hurting. "You didn't look fine," she said in her normal soft tone.

    The second comment made her smile a little more. Polite conversation. How many times had she done the same to avoid topics? Change them, even? It was something she was so good at, she recognized it instantly. "I had a student try and kiss me. I needed to get away."

    Considering the witch before her, she smiled. If there was someone she wanted to get to know, it was her. She seemed like a nice person, someone worth becoming friends with. Before she realized what she was doing, partly because she was still shaken up from what she had just seen, partly because her mind was trying to forget that idiot of a patient, she asked, "Has your egg hatched yet?" Only then did it register, and her eyes went wide. Well done, Lily. You're amazing, you know that? she mentally scolded.
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    PostSubject: Re: First Meeting, Second Guessing (Lilliana)    Fri Jan 02, 2015 2:18 am

    "You don't look fine"

    Tess nearly flinched from her comment and she could feel herself already building up her walls hoping to control herself at least at surface level. It wasn't safe to just be so open with people so quickly, that's how you got hurt. But she could do business, and their business was the hospital. And while the girl commented on how she looked she took the bait on the easy comment. Leaning back on the couch, she pulled her legs closer, hugging them closer to her and smiling politely.

    "I'm just stressed is all, you know how it is"

    She figured this was the best excuse she could come up with, and she was going to stick with it. But as the girl began to explain why she was on break, Tess couldn't help but laugh softly. She hadn't got someone that had been handsy yet, and she was thankful for it. She didn't know what she would do. Before she could say anything, something made her freeze. Egg? She looked at her and squinted moving closer. She hadn't told anyone she'd picked up a second major, not even Rhian, and she hadn't officially been accepted, except for Codey who'd been more than happy.

    "Excuse me? Egg? Who are you?" she was starting to grow suspicious.

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    PostSubject: Re: First Meeting, Second Guessing (Lilliana)    Sat Jan 03, 2015 7:29 am

    One of the things that Lilliana clung onto was the fact that she could only see past events, and never future or present. It meant so much more to know that the person she was currently talking to was still relatively, well, new; it wasn't as though she needed to pretend not to have seen something from the future. Except.. except when she prophesied. That was never good, because it wasn't as though she could hide it - she said the damn thing aloud and in a weird voice, too - and it always made people freak out.

    Well, not Amerix, but she was an exception, she thought, smiling a little, both in reply to Tess and the memory. "Yes, I do," she commented, wondering if Tess knew exactly how stressed Lily got. The ministry had been at her again, sending another letter to ask her to reconsider their offer of working full time for them. Then again, it seemed as though Tess was taking two subjects, which was definitely not easy.

    "Excuse me? Egg? Who are you?"

    Ah, shit. Lilliana hardly swore - her mother's training - but when she did, it was because of something serious. And this was very, very serious. Glancing towards Bella, she half wished her helper was able to come up with an answer for her. But the house elf merely looked back at her, eyes wide and filled with worry. Lilliana was on her own. "Well, uhm, you see..." she started, but then shook her head and gave Bella a meaningful nod, reaching into her bag and removing her notebook and pen. Thank Merlin for these, she thought, opening to a fresh page.

    I'm a seer

    Why was the straight forward answer always the wrong one? Beside her, she barely heard the voice of Bella repeating the words she herself so often said. "Please wait. She needs a few moments."; she was far too caught up in her thoughts.

    You have a dragon egg, am I right?

    But her reaction previously told her not many people - if any - knew about the egg. It was already too late, however, with her big mouth. She knew she didn't really have a choice; she could lie and say she overheard someone talking, but that wasn't true, and her mother would not be pleased. That last question, however, was not something she could answer. It wasn't that she didn't know what to say, it was just that she could not bring herself to say it. So instead, she took a deep breath, closed the book, and said softly, "Your dragon egg. Has it hatched?"
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    PostSubject: Re: First Meeting, Second Guessing (Lilliana)    Sat Jan 03, 2015 2:09 pm

    Tess was told many times in her life that she could be too trusting, and at first she scoffed at her family. She assumed they meant because she was a 'lady' and she had her 'feminine sensitivities', her mother would tease her softly, of how she tried to hard to be like the men of her family. Usually a little Tess would protest, go to a tantrum, then her mother would run her fingers through her long hair and sooth her about the purpose of 'pretty women'. Even today it frustrated her to no end, to be put in such a niche in her family. But she had caused them to keep believing, with Dominic and her just enthralled so quickly, showed how little experience she had with the real world. And now again, she was being forced to evaluate someone else.

    But this was different, it wasn't enthrallment that Tess felt towards this person, but rather wariness, and some fear. Maybe it was those big blue eyes that looked so doe-ish innocent, that made Tess wary. The best and most manipulative were the ones that looked innocent. She knew this first hand, that was her way of protection. But the girl peeled back a layer, she felt a bit gobsmacked, confused as to why she knew this. The fact that she had asked a question and the girl had yet to answer made her wary.

    Would she get expelled if she hexed this girl? She nearly jumped seeing the elf, she hadn't noticed it before. As she opened a notebook she stared and wondered if she could leave at this moment. She felt cornered a bit, yet she had done the cornering. But as the girl scribbled, she knew this was her way out. She got up, ready to leave the weird girl.

    "Please wait. She needs a few moments."

    She tensed up, and looked a the elf coldly. Why should she wait, to realize someone was trying to use her? Blackmail her in some way that would put her under someone's power? No. She stared at girl, not sitting down as she once was. Her arms were crossed, not in a defensive position, but more of a form of self-comfort.

    "No it hasn't hatched" she hissed, "who put you up to this? It isn't funny, no matter how good of an actress your elf is."


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    PostSubject: Re: First Meeting, Second Guessing (Lilliana)    Sat Jan 03, 2015 8:30 pm

    Looking up in surprise at the witch, Lily felt something rare start to bubble inside her - anger. Shy and reserved by nature, it was very unusual for her to get working up or upset over something, but when she did, the result usually wasn't very good. Also rising, she heard her notebook crash to the ground and Bella hurrying over to pick it up, placing it gently on the couch.

    "Look, I don't know what I said that was so wrong but I'm sorry, okay?" she started, tone louder than before but still relatively normal for anyone who heard; for her, this was as close as she got to shouting, and it meant that she was truly angry. "For your information, nobody 'put me up to this'. Nobody puts me up to anything." Perhaps that was why it was a sore topic for her; the ministry often tried to get her to do their bidding. Thank Merlin for her parents, who taught her to follow her heart and never cave in to demands and pressure.

    "Bella," she continued, pointing towards the elf, whose ears perked at once, thinking her master had called. But upon realizing the witch was not speaking to her, she turned her attention onto other things. "Is not an actress. I don't know why you are so suspicious of me or her. All I did was ask you a simple question. You don't have to act like the world is going to end."

    "And no, it isn't funny. If I could live without Bella, trust me, I would. I'd give anything.. anything.. to be able to go out without her following me. If..." she shook her head and gave a shrug. "But there are no ifs. Only facts. So please, don't try to judge me before you know me. I certainly haven't judged you and..-" Cutting herself off here, she instead let out a sigh and sat back down. She had just been about to say, 'and I have seen more of you than you have of me', but that wouldn't have been the right thing to do. It was funny, how her morals were still so prominent when she fought with people.
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    PostSubject: Re: First Meeting, Second Guessing (Lilliana)    Sat Jan 03, 2015 8:48 pm


    If it was any other person, they would admit they were wrong or misjudged a person. But Tess new saying 'the lady doth protest too much' and she was stubborn. But as the girl got up she almost winced at the noise of the notebook falling on the tiled floor. The girl did protest too much and she merely waited for her to finish. She was simmering as well, a slow simmer rising as the girl got far too close to her face.

    Once she finished she leaned closer, breaking her own rule about personal space and looked at her coldly. Perhaps it was the fact that she was stressed, angry at the world, or the fact the girl picked the wrong day to say something, but she wasn't having it.

    "Look" she hissed, "When my private life is out on the open to some....stranger" she almost said nobody. "it is a problem. And I don't like having problems. I am not an open book, and believe me when I say, I don't take kindly to people lying or getting in my face" she lowered her voice. "We'll be okay if you take my name out of your mouth unless I let you."

    She felt some sympathy, that was new especially as the girl's fire died down immediately after she finished. She knew her tongue was sharp, much rougher than anything an actual hex could do. But as she cut herself off she bit her bottom lip.

    "Don't play that game with me" she muttered. Taking a deep breath she tried to calm herself down. Rolling her shoulders she rubbed her temples hoping to just get herself together. "Forget what I said, just forget it, all except poking at my private life without my consent. Bad things happen when people do that"


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    PostSubject: Re: First Meeting, Second Guessing (Lilliana)    Sat Jan 03, 2015 9:32 pm

    The words that came from the witch's mouth seemed to fly over her head, until the accusation. Or at least, it felt like one to Lilliana, and at once the anger came back. "I've seen what lying can do. Trust me when I say I would never lie to anyone if I can help it. And I do believe you got in my face first." She let out a shaky laugh. "If you don't want me to say your name, then by all means, I won't. Oh, and I'm Lilliana, since you didn't bother asking before attacking my person."

    The second statement did it. There was no way Lily could keep taking all this crap from somebody she had tried to be nice to, not now, not ever. Sending her a glare, and in the harshest tone she could manage, she barked, "I don't play games. I would never do that. Ever. And if you want to, go ahead. Hurt me. Hell, kill me if you want. Maybe you'll be the reason the Ministry stops hounding after me." Taking a deep breath, she spat, "I can't help that I'm a seer. I can't help that I see things. Do you really think I want to? To see things people try to hide? To have to pretend I haven't just invaded the privacy of a stranger?"

    Shaking her head again, she rolled her eyes. "Well shit luck on me then, because I can't do anything about it. But I'm sorry that my Inner Eye decided to show me your dragon egg. I'll be sure to keep it a secret." She chuckled dryly, humourlessly. "I keep enough of those anyway." There was no mistake in the bitterness of the tone. "Now I am going to sit here and enjoy my break. Feel free to do whatever you want, but don't you dare for a second think you can judge me for something I don't have control over."
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    PostSubject: Re: First Meeting, Second Guessing (Lilliana)    Sat Jan 03, 2015 10:07 pm

    "Watch yourself" Tess growled at the girl.

    She hated when people began to get on their high horse about lying. Everyone said that but then again everyone lied. It was basic human condition to lie, it was just a matter of when. And if the girl...Lilliana wasn't lying now, she'd lie eventually. She rolled her eyes at the girl trying to toughen herself out. It wasn't a fitting role, but she respected her a bit for trying.

    "I don't play games. I would never do that. Ever. And if you want to, go ahead. Hurt me. Hell, kill me if you want. Maybe you'll be the reason the Ministry stops hounding after me."

    "I can't help that I'm a seer. I can't help that I see things. Do you really think I want to? To see things people try to hide? To have to pretend I haven't just invaded the privacy of a stranger?"


    That's when Tess cut her off, she was mentally playing the violin slowly, at her misfortune. She huffed letting out her air slowly as the girl a bit dramatic about killing her. As if she would get her hands dirty. Looking at her dispassionately, she glared at the girl making a hand gesture for her to shut up before she did something dirty.

    "Stop with your dramatics" she snapped, "why would I get my hands dirty with you? I don't get my hands dirty, ever. And I don't care if you don't lie, which is a lie in itself, when you obviously have done it before. Everyone lies, it's just a matter of when. But everyone does it." she crossed her arms now in the defensive, "And I don't care about your issues with the ministry, go share that with your friends."

    Her words got caught in her throat hearing the word seer. Her mother had told her about it, how there was older magic that revolved around the ability to look to the past of someone's life, know their secrets and sometimes prophecies of the future were written from it. Taking a deep breath she wasn't going to say anything more. Her thoughts began to swarm her and she ignored the girl saying that she would enjoy the break on her own.

    She didn't even say anything, instead she sat down across from the girl and her whole body sank. If she saw the dragon egg, what else did she see? Tess was simmering in shame, never at screaming at the girl, but the fact she could have seen her at her most vulnerable. Her heartbreak, the past injustices and her firm expression soon began to shift. Tears began to rise slowly as she simmered, ashamed at being so exposed. She would have left, had it not been that one movement would have made her start crying. She swallowed, feeling her throat dry, as her vision began to blur, tears beginning to rise but resting on her lashes unwilling to slide down.


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    PostSubject: Re: First Meeting, Second Guessing (Lilliana)    Sat Jan 03, 2015 10:45 pm

    "Watch yourself"

    Touchy touchy, she thought dryly. Honestly, if she hadn't been so angry, it would have made her feel bad or given her a guilt trip or something, but instead it only made her resolve harder. I'll stop when you stop accusing me without any basis. But she didn't say it aloud - couldn't say it aloud, because it was too rude even for an angry version of Lily.

    The little outburst didn't do much. The witch had misheard her and there was no point correcting her, because Lily was at a point where she didn't care. But at the part about the ministry, she scoffed. "No, you don't. Which is a good thing because if they had it their way, I would be their tool. They would use me.. my abilities.. to spy on people. I turned down their offer - I'm turning down their offers - because I don't want to do that. Not because I'm a such a good person, but because I think it's a disgusting thing to do. So I'm glad you don't give a shit, because that means they don't have me under their thumb." She shook her head. "I don't tell my friends because they wouldn't understand.

    And then suddenly, Tess was sitting down and looking more broken than any person Lily had ever seen before. At once the anger left her, replaced with a tide of horror. Did I do that? Did I just make her cry? Hesitating for a moment, she glanced at Bella and motioned for the elf to go away - or go as far away as possible. Moving to sit beside the witch, Lily took a breath and then went for it - she put one arm on the witch's back. "I'm sorry. I never should have said anything," she said softly. "I promise you, I am not one to judge. What I saw happened in the past, and the past is just that. I look at you and see a fellow Healer in training whom I have just met, nothing more, nothing less."
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    PostSubject: Re: First Meeting, Second Guessing (Lilliana)    Sat Jan 03, 2015 11:31 pm


    As the witch spoke, she just stared ahead not bothering to make eye contact. She knew that Seers were usually in their own form of entrapment when it came to the ministry. Her father, being part of the Ministry was the similar thing, knew how it happened. It wasn't something odd. It was another part of being tied down and for a moment she felt a pang. Tess Holmes was a bitch, hands down she was one and she never once denied it, but at the moment she felt sympathy for Lilliana.

    Still, she stared ahead, ignoring as one tear fell down her cheek. Exposure meant something heavy on Tess; she'd already been exposed in every sense of the word to one person and they had ripped her to shreds and now a stranger knew probably how stupid she'd been. And it was a horrifying thought. For a moment she wished her brain wouldn't stop thinking of the absolute worst situations. The way she'd been stupid in so many ways...is that what Lilliana saw? She blinked back tears as they silently fell.

    "I'm sorry. I never should have said anything," she said softly. "I promise you, I am not one to judge. What I saw happened in the past, and the past is just that. I look at you and see a fellow Healer in training whom I have just met, nothing more, nothing less."

    When the witch moved closer to her, Tess didn't bother moving. Hell what was there left to hide? Her errors, her misjudgement, her blatant vulnerability and how it bit her in the face, was clear. But the moment that Lilliana touched her, her bottom lip wobbled. She flinched slightly but nodded her tears falling all the more realizing that she said the one word she feared more than anything. Being judged. She was judged from the day she was born the wrong sex. And from then on, it was a weight that was on her. Sniffling softly she tentatively placed a hand on Lilliana, and lowered her face to attempt to hide her tears.

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    PostSubject: Re: First Meeting, Second Guessing (Lilliana)    Sat Jan 03, 2015 11:47 pm

    Silent tears, just like the kind Lily saw Tess cry in front of the mirror, fell, and for a moment Lilliana didn't know what to do. From what she had seen (both in the flashes and from their previous interactions) the witch did not like to be seen as vulnerable. That was something Lily could understand, but at the same time, a part of her just wanted to comfort the woman. Yes, moments ago Lily had felt nothing but anger, but now she was just concerned.

    At the flinching, Lily made to pull back, but something just made her stop, and she began to rub Tess' back in the same way her mother did whenever she was upset. "Hey now, don't worry. You can let it out. You can trust me," she whispered. "I promise."

    When she felt the hand on her knee, she hesitated for just a brief second before moving closer and moving her arm to envelope the witch altogether, in a side-ways hug. Covering Tess' hand with her own, she didn't say anything else, just holding the crying witch and letting her do whatever it was she needed to.

    Motherly instincts were never something Lily would have said she had, but it was now apparent that her own mother's actions had been engraved in her mind and she was repeating them without having to think. "You'll be okay," she muttered.
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    PostSubject: Re: First Meeting, Second Guessing (Lilliana)    Sun Jan 04, 2015 12:01 am


    Tess was horrified at her breaking down. For something that started off at being bothered at someone knowing something tiny. But her privacy was so limited, so precious to her. Only in her privacy could she be...human. She could cry, be disorganized, burn things while trying to learn to cook. In privacy she could show her imperfections that were obviously there. But in the public eye, she tried, desperately to just fit. She wanted normalcy, something that never seemed to work well with her. Her dreams and aspirations would all be thrown to the site to get the normalcy, and that's what shook her. Lilliana saw her ugliness, the ugliness that swarmed Tess in every waking moment behind doors. Here, in the middle of the break room and it was so embarrassing.

    She cursed softly while she was embraced. When was the last time that happened? It wasn't with Rhian; they had a strict no touching policy, that was enacted when Tess was in her second year and Rhian had amusingly accepted. It wasn't with her brother who didn't really initiate things because of her aversion to touch, but he would kiss her cheek. No. Last time she was hugged was with Dominic and that shook her more than she cared to admit. So awkwardly so she hugged the girl back.

    "You'll be okay,"

    Nodding, she didn't dare look up, instead she saw their hands. Lilliana was sickeningly beautiful person, those people that you read about. How they had their lives together, and powered through. And she was quite the foil, perfect outside, inside...a chaos filled personality brimming with imperfections. It was horrifying. She cursed softly as she lifted her free hand to wipe her tears.

    "I'm sorry" she whispered.

    She hadn't apologized to someone...in a long time. Never so sincerely as she did at this very moment and it was shocking to her. She knew she had problems with certain aspects of societal niceties, but this took the cake. Lilliana deserved it and more.

    "I'm sorry for being to ugly to you" she added as an afterthought.

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    PostSubject: Re: First Meeting, Second Guessing (Lilliana)    Sun Jan 04, 2015 1:13 am

    She chuckled inwardly as she heard a swear word escape Tess' lips. Definitely not something she herself would do, she could only imagine what the other witch was feeling - would it be embarrassment? Fear? Disappointment? After all, she didn't expect a total stranger to breakdown in front of her - and she certainly would not breakdown in front of one either. It must have most definitely been a touchy subject Lily had brought up, and to think that she was even remotely the cause of the tears made her feel so guilty; she had broken her promise to herself.

    The promise she had made when she was younger; the one that started with hatred towards her abilities and turned to something she inscribed into her bedroom wall; the one that her parents had been so proud of, because it had been her own doings and not because of their suggestion. I promise to never use my abilities to blackmail, upset, or judge others. Let me only do good with it, never harm. And if I should allow others to use me for it, for any purposes other than actual good, let Merlin himself curse me for the rest of my life.

    Letting out a soft sigh, Lily sat still, unmoving, except for her slow and steady breathing. She tried to concentrate not on herself but on the witch. Others before herself. That was what her parents instilled in her, and she tired to live by it. A few moments passed and then Lilliana heard Tess speak and was completely taken aback.

    Of all people, why was she apologizing? It didn't make sense, but then she heard the witch continue and her eyes widened in horror. "No," she said at once. "Never." Taking a breath to calm herself, she tried again. "I mean, never apologize for feeling. That's what my mother always tells me. It takes a real woman to cry and feel." She paused, smiling a little at the witch. "And I don't think you're ugly. What's ugly is pretending to have to be okay and people judging you when you show your real feelings. When you can't be who you are or people call you names, that's ugly. The truth is always beautiful. Believe me when I say that.." she hesitated for a brief second, ".. Tess."
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    PostSubject: Re: First Meeting, Second Guessing (Lilliana)    Sun Jan 04, 2015 1:30 am

    Taking out a tissue, Tess wiped her tears, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. From being so rude to someone to crumbling, it was just horrifying how she ranged in emotions in such a short period of time. She prided herself in control, control was what made her become stronger. It created a nice wall for her to hide behind and pretend to be protected. But at this instance, it wasn't the case. In this instance the cracks were pushed by just one vision. Looking down at her hands she took a deep shaky breath, as Lilliana began to speak. Her tone was so calm and soothing, that her shoulder's sagged.

    "I mean, never apologize for feeling. That's what my mother always tells me. It takes a real woman to cry and feel."

    While she found the saying to be beautiful, she was ashamed. Because at the end of the day, she was sensitive, fairly sensitive and it weakened her state of mind. She couldn't be like her brother, the definition of success and control, no crack to break him. He was perfection and she was born to be constantly trying to keep herself together. Tears meant defeat and her mother constantly told her a woman cried behind a closed door if she had to. She'd never seen her mother cry, and briefly wondered if her mother had the ability to even do it. Still, it was nice to hear a different perspective, that showed her how different her family held her, and if it was her misfortune to simply accept it.

    "And I don't think you're ugly. What's ugly is pretending to have to be okay and people judging you when you show your real feelings. When you can't be who you are or people call you names, that's ugly. The truth is always beautiful. Believe me when I say that.." she hesitated for a brief second, ".. Tess."

    It was then that Tess looked up at her as she spoke. She was right, Lilliana had seen more than she cared to admit and after her tears, it was something she'd have to accept. Like what had happened to her before, it marked her. She nodded slowly, she knew she wasn't always okay. Sometimes it was harder to get out of bed, and sometimes she felt like she knew exactly who she was. But at the hesitance of her saying her name, she couldn't help but laugh softly. Her throat was a bit try, but the sniffling had stopped, and she felt like laughing softly at the hesitance.

    "Thank you" she said softly, "and I-I promise to not be okay more often, at least more honest" she shook her head, "I don't have friends..I only have one. But...but could I make it up to you, all of this, with some tea?"

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    PostSubject: Re: First Meeting, Second Guessing (Lilliana)    Sun Jan 04, 2015 1:50 am

    At this point of time, Lily wished for the first time that she could read minds, because there were so many things she wanted to tell Tess, but didn't know if they were, well, appropriate. She wanted to say how beautiful she thought the witch before her was, and how brave she was to allow Lily in, even if for that brief a moment. She would tell her about being adopted, and how it felt to know you were abandoned because of something you were born with, and that she understood how it felt to want to keep things inside and never let them out, but that it was okay to trust. She would mention the fact that she kept her abilities a secret because she had people she thought were friends try and use it for their own benefits, and how so many had left her when they first heard her prophesy. And above it all, Lily wanted to let the witch know that hurt was something that happened everyday no matter how hard you try to avoid it, and to still show emotion after all that was a quality that would take her far.

    But she didn't say anything. How could she, without revealing she had seen more than just the egg? No, it was too risky, especially if something as small as a dragon egg made the witch cry. It was clear to Lilliana that the breakdown was a result of many days - if not weeks or months, possibly even years - of holding back emotion. Part of her was glad that her comment was the breaking point, simply because it meant that Lily was the one present, and not some jerk. But the other half was sad - sad because that meant Tess didn't have anyone she could go to when she was upset.

    At the thank you, Lily smiled softly, letting out a chuckle. "That's a start," she teased slightly, then frowned. "Two. You have two," she corrected. "And there's nothing to make up, although tea sounds good. I think we could both use some." Pausing just for a few seconds, she decided to add, "And Tess, I know we just met, but if you ever need anyone to .. to listen, well, I'm always available."
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    PostSubject: Re: First Meeting, Second Guessing (Lilliana)    Fri Jan 09, 2015 1:33 am


    A cup of tea fixed anything; that was the saying her grandmother told her all the time. Tea fixed awkward situations, sickness, and brought soothing emotions towards a person. Her nana was someone who took the time to just sit with her and appreciate her for the person that she was. Normal, in her eyes. That was probably the last time she felt almost normal. And now here she sat, with a witch she barely met, who'd now given her more sympathy than life had often times given her.

    'Poor little rich girl' her mind snarked at her.

    And it was true. Because it wasn't the way that she peered into her and saw the dragon egg, but the implication that she saw more. She knew she saw more, she could see it in her eyes that tried to desperately to make things better. She girl was too nice, too nice to a person like her. But Tess was selfish, and she would take it. She, would have a friend undeservingly, and she would be okay. Lilliana would never have to know.

    But as she mentioned the idea of her being friends and being able to listen, Tess smiled. She would need to rethink a lot of things, but having twice as much friends didn't seem like a waste after all.


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